I'm lazy, I'm hazy, and just a tad bit crazy

Eerily Familiar, Yet Still So Foreign

2006-07-06T19:09:00.000+08:00

I am in Jakarta. I have been here for almost a week already, and will be based here for the next couple of years or so.

Coming here, I tried not to expect too much, or anything at all. All I was told and everything I read gave me the idea that Jakarta is almost like Manila, except it's populated with Indonesians. In a lot of ways, that was correct.

Apart from being mistaken for a good-looking Indonesian almost all the time, I have yet to find any affinity with Jakarta. Pollution? Check. Garbage? Check. Heat? Check. Traffic? Check. Beggars? Check. Bascially what we have here is a carbon copy of Manila in another country. But then again....

There's something about their nature that makes Indonesians seem very different from Pinoys. I don't get the feeling that people I talk to (or try to talk to) here are trying to cheat me put one over me. I seriously think that if I raise my voice, I can make them cry. Yep, they're that timid. Indonesians, I think, haven't developed that 'dog-eat-dog' mentality that Pinoys have. Which is good... for non-Indonesians like me.

What I really hate though, is the lack of reliable internet cafes. Connection speeds are hopelessly slow, and their pcs are jurassic. No wonder they need Pinoy IT people here. Seems that if you have more than YM and one IE open, people around start wondering what you're doing. A couple of times, strangers come up behind me to look at what website I'm surfing. Just to give their Muslim sensibilities a shock, I go to a porn site. Just for them.

Mortified

2006-02-07T15:06:00.000+08:00

Mortified is, in my opinion, the best word to describe how one feels when he has just joined a new company, given his own windowless room in the office, releases the foulest, thai-food spiced fart ever, and then the Finance Manager and Admin Manager walks in.

Damn. I hope they didn't notice.

One Month and Counting

2005-10-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

Well actually, it's been more than a month - since I've resigned from the most recent 'old' company. I've been a bum for five weeks now and it's starting to take its toll. I'm now officially a two-player battle city expert, and I play alone. Man, I'm bored.

The highlight of my recent unemployment was a few days' break in Singapore, which resulted in Liz' and myself buying iPod Nanos. It's sexy as heck, but it gets scratches as easily as a cat on a major PMS mood.

Got a few dozen pics which I've never been able to upload to my phlog account because I don't have an internet connection in the condo, and I lent my cpu to Liz' sis.

There've been a number of job interviews I've gone to, but so far only a couple have showed real interest. I was told that the other agency I turned down previously would be happy to accept me again, but if I had second thoughts before, I'm having thirds now. What I thought was to be my dream job (for a bank) unfortunately didn't push through because I was only their second choice. Damn them.

The most concrete offer will probably come from a company that makes products which I'm not really familiar with, and their office is on the other end of motherfreakin' EDSA. If they give me a Fortuner, then I might consider. I hope they do.

When things that should be good don't seem right

2005-08-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

Every fiber of my being is detesting what I'm doing.

Weird, because I should be happy. We keep hearing things like "It's a problem, but a good kind of problem" and "We'd be in more trouble if no one was busy".

But does it always have to be me?

I currently have a batting average (projects proposed vs projects won) of over 80%. In research, that's pretty damn high, considering that we don't (yet) have an expansive list of clients. I've been dead tired since two days after I started working here. It's been only five months, and already I feel as if I need a month off to recuperate from all the stress. Karma. I slacked off for almost a whole year in my previous job, and stress has come back with a vengeance.

I'm brain-dead. My flashes of brilliance have diminished into microseconds of semi-clarity. My grey matter has been reduced to an addled, muddled, curdled and grated mass of incoherence.

I'm like a car battery that doesn't even have enough juice to honk the car horn.

I thought last month that I'd have more free time by this month, but now I'm gonna be busy until September.

If I were a stockholder in this company, then I should be jumping in my seat, but I'm just a lowly employee who hopes against all and sundry that all thiese late nights will be converted into a two-month bonus at the end of the year.

My only distraction from work is UAAP basketball (and I thank the high heavens that we've started winning).

I wake up everyday hoping against all hope that it's the weekend, that I can keep the blinds shut and stay in slumberland, free from all the meetings, presentations and beastly things that a market researcher must face every single friggin' day.

I only get to read when I'm in the crapper (I finished a couple of Narnia books and and HP6 while flushing).

I'm finding it harder and harder each day to gather myself and focus.

Work is killing me.

POO-TA-RA-GIS!!!

2005-05-17T16:23:00.000+08:00

I swear, if this job doesn't kill me, then my boss will.

"Exhausted" is an understatement here. The whole freakin' deal's impossible to cope with because we're so undermanned.

This is the only form of release that I can do today. In two minutes, I will publish this and go back to work on the endless requirements of our clients. People are stressed out, fragile, and ready to break - including myself.

My backlog....is unbelievable. Just unbelieveable.

I've already been staying in Makati the past 2 weeks, just to lessen the travel fatigue factor, but it's only helped marginally because for every one thing you finish, five more tasks take its place. The slew of incoming projects hasn't stopped since the last quarter of last year, or so I'm told. The current number of projects can already keep us preoccupied until the end of June. I've already managed to forget all about 2 proposals and a topline report, all for the same client.

Beyond tired.

Rent

2005-04-03T19:10:00.001+08:00

I couldn't be happier. They're finally filming the movie version of Rent, the musical. Chris Columbus is at the helm, and the outift of the Radcliffe guy, Harry Potter's dad, is producing it, along with Jonathan Larson's sister.

The great part is, that almost the whole original cast is in it!!! Adam Pascal and Taye Diggs RAWK!!! The only downside is that Daphne Rubin-Vega, who played Mimi Marquez in the original runs, got beat out by Rosario Dawson - the girl in MIB2 who has uneven nostrils. She can also be seen in another movie that I can't wait to watch - Sin City, which is in turn being directed by Robert Rodriguez and the co-creator of the comics himself, Frank Miller. Coolness.

I wonder if this Rosario Dawson lady can sing. Sure, Daphne Rubin-Vega's ass and boobs might already be hanging all over the place, and Rosario Dawson might be a decade or so younger, but can Dawson-lady give justice to Mimi's character?

Rent will be shown at the end of the year in the US.

Sin City will be shown here (hopefully) in the next quarter.

Tired but happy

2005-03-28T19:00:00.000+08:00

It's only Monday. Monday, for cryin' out loud! And I'm already beat. Last week, I was just playing fireman and putting out all the flames that developed as a result of our lack of manpower here in the office. Today, I finally was able to make some headway on my own projects.

Our big boss is really something else. She's really too old to be doing any of this stuff, and you'd expect her to be really forgetful and all, but the funny thing is, she's still sharp as a razorwhen it comes to research and marketing. She really knows her shit, and that's probably why she was still chosen to head this fledgling company eventhough she's well past retirement age.

Holy Week just zipped past. Hardly noticed it, as I woke up this morning tired. Last night, my cousins from Iloilo called and said they wanted to go karaoke. So we went to the karaoke place in G3 (and paid a freakin lot for a 1-hour stay). Met one of my younger cousins again, after more than 10 years, I guess. I hardly recognized him because he's huge, weighs more than I do (and looks older than me). Great thing to discover was how well he sang. I swear, he actually sounds like Gary V. We also made him sing a number of Usher songs, and he got dat down pat too. That kid can really groove.

Pau was able to fix my blog a bit. Much more, actually, than what I can ever manage to do in an hour. That's because he's a nerd.

2005-03-25T03:25:00.000+08:00

Tagal ko na rin hindi nagsusulat dito.

I got my first paycheck from my new job last Wednesday. Weird thing, because the amount was almost double than what I expected. Heck, I'm not complaining. Sana every payday ganun.

Wednesday was also a hell of a day because a lot of the people in the office were on leave (damn syanings), so I was literally trying to do 3 people's work all at the same time (and most of those shit were just passed on to me via email, wala na explanation from my asshole officemate who insists that he is a team player). Needless to say, I got so fed up that I left the office at 3pm to meet Liz and get a haircut. Whenever I get really pissed, I feel better after getting a haircut. I know. I know, that it sounds so gay, but that's the way it is. Here's another kinda faggy thing: when I get pissed, I get a terrible urge to buy shoes. And those two things were exactly what I wanted to do last Wednesday - get a haircut and buy shoes. So I was able to get a haircut, finally, and Liz and I were gonna look for shoes to buy, but my cousin from Iloilo calls me up and says that she's here in Manila with everyone else, and that they were on their way to Makati. Coolness. I wanted to buy these boots at Bass, but they didn't have my size, so I treated the kids (my cousins) to dinner instead. At least my urge to spend was sated.

Pau is really atat to go to Bohol. I was reading a lonely planet guidebook and I got atat too because it said there that not only can you watch dolphins in Bohol, but also whales. WHALES! Astig. Have to start making plans already, because it's highly likely that resorts will be fully booked this April and May.

Tomorrow, mom, sis, bro and his wife will go bisita iglesia-ing. I'm not going with them because they're doing it in Laguna, and I don't want to sit through either my sister or my brother's driving, and neither am I in a mood to drive to Laguna. I just want to relax tomorrow, and get on with my NBA season. Last I checked my Dallas Dynasty, Speedy Claxton (Huh? Speedy who? Yes, Speedy Claxton - because of his assists and steals) was leading J-Will (white chocolate) for the MVP award, with KG coming up third and McGrady fourth. All of them are on my team.

Uma, our lab, seems to be pregnant. Good. Initially I thought that her 3 doggy-style-sessions with Zuma didn't take, but in just the past 2 days Uma's belly has grown noticeably, and it ain't gas, because that's MY excuse.

I really have to learn all those html / syndication / RSS / atom stuff so I can update this blog and add those links.

Happy Easter.

'Alangya

2005-03-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

Only my fourth day at work. This morning I came in at 730, and left at 7pm. Had groups and a meeting until 5pm. Just before I left the office 3 new RFP's were forwarded to me. This company is a WINNER!

Good grief.

2005-03-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

Second day at work in my new job today. I go to work a little past 8 am. I go home past 6. i took home some work today. Geez. It's going to be a helluva year, but I LIKE IT!!!

Finally.

2005-02-05T03:54:00.000+08:00

I have made a decision. I accepted the offer of the research firm in Makati. The Director sounded very happy when I called her to break the news. The only thing left for me to do now is to tell the people in the other research agency why I didn't accept their offer (because they were so looking forward to my joining them).

Dear tita, I decided to accept another job offer because your finance director was trying to shortchange me and twisted my words, telling me that I only wanted to earn as much as I was earning now, instead of MORE. Incidentally, when I called her up on the day that she was supposed to let me know of the final package, she had the gall to say "Thanks for reminding me, I haven't talked to Mrs. **** yet, can I call you back in a couple of days?". And when she was already supposed to give me the final package (again), she got it all wrong so I had to tell her that I already received a firm offer from another company, and she made excuses, telling me why she couldn't give me a firm offer (because you were on leave, because the GM was attending a seminar, because this, because that, myamyamya). So in the end, you lost me to another company because your finance director couldn't put together a package, given almost 2 weeks. THe Other company gave me their offer in 3 days. Sorry. Maybe next time.

What really got me was the "Thanks for reminding me" bit and the minimum amount I supposedly said I wanted to get. She's loco, and she will be in big trouble come Monday when I email my apology cum turning-down letter to my tita and the other directors who interviewed me.

Coolness. In a few weeks, I will have a new job. This will be the rebirth of me. I heard that they already have a lot of work right now, and I'm still contemplating whether to offer a little of my time already. I could moderate a few groups because they supposedly already need a male moderator now. I wonder if they'll pay me part-time for that. Hmmmm...... must explore that possibility.

Decisions

2005-02-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

May bumabagabag sa aking kalooban.

Yet again, I face another crossroads in my life. If I were to complicate my life and muddle my brain uselessly, I'd have to choose between 4 job offers. Two offers are with market research agencies, one is with a telecom company, and the last is with a call center. Each has its own pros and cons. The clarity of thought that I was asking for previously has yet to manifest itself (or maybe I'm subconsciously making myself miserable by not having the guts to decide outright). Maybe it will help clear my mind, so I'll list down the upsides and downsides of each job here:

MR Agency 1:

UPS - near my home, gave me the package I asked for, gives bonuses, proven track record, my girlfriend will probably start work there next month, my aunt is the president.

DOWNS - possibility of the exact same old boring routine in my former company, possibility of the same old headaches, bigger staff - which might lead to more competition.

MR Agency 2:

UPS - gave me the salary I asked for, proven track record (at least internationally. they've only been in RP for a year), does more analysis work, less logistics - thus the possibility of less headaches, lean staff - more chances to shine and be noticed.

DOWNS - Makati. layo, shet.

Telecom Company:

UPS - client side (usually a plus in my line of work - mainly because I get to be the bad guy), gives bonuses, opportunity to transfer to the meatier and more moneyed marketing departments, heard that the benefits there were above average (coming from my previous company, my "benefit" standards aren't set too high).

DOWNS - they will ride you like a racehorse, then flog you if you trip, no guarantee that my preferred salary will be given to me (heck, I haven't really been accepted yet. I'm just assuming, and complicating my life needlessly).

Call Center:

UPS - will probably give me any amount (within reason) that I ask for - we're talking about a couple of shades under six digits, work will be simple, in fact, too simple

DOWNS - work will be too simple, time in is at 5am (who the hell goes to work at 5 in the morning???), a dead-end job as far as I'm concerned.

DAMMIT.

Now if I were born rich, and if my mom sent me to acting and singing workshops when I was a kid, maybe I could have been a broadway star like Adam Pascale.

I promised to myself that if they have another run of RENT here, I'll audition for Roger's part. Makapag-chorus man lang, masaya nako.

Probably not a very well-known fact: Daphne Rubin-Vega (Mimi in Broadway's RENT) was also in Wild Things. She's the latina cop na partner ni Kevin Bacon. Stig.

So. WhadduAyDu?

I'm dreading receiving a phone call from MR Agency 1 and ending up speaking to my aunt about the final final package because that would be very... uncomfortable. A larger part of me is telling me that MR Agency 2 is the right choice, given that Telecom Company hasn't given any firm offers yet. But if they offer parity to the MR Agencies, then I will probably choose them. BUT, if Call Center offers to make me part of the AB socio-eco class (LESS TAX!), that would be very tempting.

Clarity of thought. Clarity of thought. Please, Lord.

The greatness of being

2005-01-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

I live a very blessed life. I have a great family, great friends, great significant other, got a great education... the list goes on.

I have never really WANTED. Never felt NEED. Generally, have always HAD. Life has been good.

Today, I will pass my resignation letter. Been working for a year in a company with great benefits, great pay. Like I tell everyone who cares to listen, three hours of honest work here everyday and that's already more than enough. But I will resign. Why? Because I can be great elsewhere, doing something that really matters - to me.

I'm very fortunate to have found my calling early in my life. I want to fix other people's problems. Come to me, I will make you whole. Trouble-shooter, MacGyver, Mr. Fix-It.

Having been awake the past 20 hours, this post is obviously going in every direction possible. Bottomline is, I am blessed. Went to two interviews in the past week - the first company has already told me that they want me to join them. Of course I told them "if the price is right". I had very good vibes about the second company. Their GM interviewed me directly, and I get the feeling that they will also do their best to acquiesce to my demands. Two interviews, two jobs. Not bad for a lazy schmuck like me.

If all comes to pass, this will be the second time that I am faced with this "dilemma". I keep reminding myself that other people are faced with the dilemma of not having ANY job to choose from, so I should be thankful. I am, and it's a helluva nice jam to be in, but it can also be hard. Can't be too hasty. Can't be overly sentimental. I have to choose for the right reasons. May God grant me clarity of thought. I really need it.

Dude, be strong.

Yesterday, my best bud's mom underwent a mastectomy. The growth was diagnosed to be malignant. He lost his dad when we were still in high school. A week before the Christmas just past, his grandma succumbed to a stroke. A helluva lot of things have been happening too quickly for him lately. We haven't had a decent talk in months, haven't had an all-night PS2 wrestling and nba live tournament in almost a year. Three words for ya: Fight, pare, FIGHT!!!

Post-Christmas, Post-Apolcalyptic Post.

2004-12-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

Christmas, was ho-ho-ho-hum. Status quo for the past few years. If Christmas is becoming more and more commercialized, then how come that as my buying power increases, it gets less fun? Hmmm....

The recent tragedy brought about by the quake/tsunamis could probably well be a wakeup call by our one and only Mother Earth that everything is not fine and dandy with her. Sure, sure, quakes and tsunamis have nothing to do with deforestation, over-fishing, etc. But with so many natural calamities in the past few years, you can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, we should be paying more attention to what our planet is trying to say.

The death toll is up to 23 thousand. If the recent landslides and flashfloods here in the Philippines claimed more than a thousand lives, imagine if the quake happened here. I shudder at the thought. One minute you're sunning yourself in the powder-soft sands of Boracay, the next minute you're being swept off towards Caticlan by a 30-foot wall of water. Man, if those tsunamis hit Boracay, the island would be absolutely GONE. My heart goes out to the those who lost their loved ones. We too, in the family, were worried sick when we found out about the quake and the waves. My tita and her family spent the Christmas holidays in a resort in Thailand. Good thing though, because they were in Krabi instead of Phuket. Krabi sustained far less damage then Phuket, so they're ok. Heaved a great sigh of relief when I was able to talk to my cousin and she assured us that they weren't hurt (though their resort still sustained some damage).

Another new year, another opportunity to make something out of my life.

Kaya nga may office eh....

2004-12-17T21:21:00.000+08:00

...para matulog. Recently broke my record for sleeping straight hours in the office with a 6.5-hour beauty of a nap. My previous record was 5 hours.

Obviously, they don't give me enough to do.

You just gotta love December. By the second week, when all the kris kringle's and exchange gift activities are in motion, almost everyone starts slacking off from work. Instead of the usual "to-do-for-work" checklist, people have "what-to-buy-for-whom" lists. Instead of rushing back to work after eating lunch at the mall, people take 2.5-hour breaks because they sneak in some gift-shopping.

Yes, it's the most wonderful time of the year!

Off the beaten path

2004-12-14T05:43:00.000+08:00

My motto when we went to Boracay was supposed to be "Pumunta ako dito para magpaka-baboy". Partly, I was able to live up to it, but we also spent a whole afternooon biking and horseback riding, which led us to to the Mt. Luho viewpoint, giving us a fabulous view of the island. Funny that after several trips there, I've always confined myself to the familiarity albeit mundaneness of the main beach, when in fact there is so much more to the island than mango shakes and chicka pizza.

To take it a step further.... there is so much more that the Philippines has to offer. 28 years of existence and I've only been to a handful of destinations. Loser. The travel peste has bitten me.

Short-term plans (Y2005):

1) learn how to surf
2) visit Batanes
3) visit Sagada (sheesh, I've never been to Sagada!)
4) learn how to kite-board

Oh yeah, gotta get back in shape too. Wouldn't last a second on a surfboard in my present condition.

Listening to: Joni Mitchell

Spyware makers DIE!

2004-12-10T02:26:00.000+08:00

Man, I hate those m*therf*ckers who make spyware. Why can't they just leave free-surfing people alone? Do they have any idea how long it takes to scan with adaware, and THEN with spybot? Moments like these make me flip the finger at my pc. No, wait. Make that a double.

But, I DO have something to look forward to. Tomorrow, or rather, later, my gf and I will be going to Boracay for the weekend, and get this: we spent just P3500 each for the airfare and accommodations (Waling-Waling pa yon!). If that ain't a steal, I don't know what is. Thank the heavens for raffle-winning "I'm not down with Boracay" friends of relatives. I hope my stupid allergy-induced colds clear pronto.

Currently listening to: Rage Against the Machine

This ain't me....

2004-12-03T03:08:00.000+08:00

.... but then again, I've always had something to say even though I choose to keep silent. So now I have my own blog, probably a decade after the first one was made.

Reading other people's blogs is a funny kind of experience. Having lurked for so long in other people's sites, you start to think you actually know that person, even of you don't even know what he/she looks like. What is it with blogging? Personally, I see writing as a form of catharsis. Just like everyone else, I need to blow off steam once in a while, release all these emotions and ideas that I lock up inside of me. I guess in these troubled times, more and more people need to have an outlet. Which is probably why "blog" is officially a word. Sometimes though, I wonder why others cyber-pimp themselves. It's like encouraging the voyeuristic tendencies of all the maniacs out there.... which leads me to discourage people from surfing for porn. It's bad.... because of all those spyware crap they have, which can really mess up your pc.

Oh, and if you haven't yet, use firefox as your web browser. IE sucks and is susceptible to all the crap that webhacks think of.